"Love is patient, love is kind." Love is not a prix-fixe meal on Valentine's Day, despite what many restaurants proclaim. Instead, for a real romantic meal, bring it home (expect a long wait for delivery). Plus, eating in means you're less likely to get a nasty look at the table when you take off your pants. Place your orders early though; while yearning loins are sexy, yearning stomachs are not. [H/T Melissa D.]

[Photo: Courtesy Fantasy Toyland]